With Nowhere to Go, But Up (Part Two of Two)

(At Esperanza’s Request)

Part Two –

In walked Emmy!  Her Daddy’s sister!  Emmy was so much fun and the BabyGirl began bouncing up and down in her high chair.  Recognizing the littleness the BabyGirl was feeling, Emmy embraced her, not wanting to disturb her headspace.

Emmy was quite accepting of the Daddy/BabyGirl dynamic that her brother had entered into, seeing the bond it created and the love it enabled them to share.  In the past, Emmy had even taken the BabyGirl shopping, allowing her to explore her littleness on the trip – within reason, of course.

And whenever Emmy visited, the BabyGirl became excited for the big sister feel that Emmy brought with her. 

This night was no different and after a few moments of saying hello, her Daddy told her to settle down and get back to eating.

Oh, how her Daddy’s word could transform her.  Added into the sensations she went through from an excited beating heart to a now wetter diaper to the inability to hide her littleness at all, the BabyGirl was spinning around inside her thoughts in a world that she truly belonged in.

She watched Emmy and her Daddy sit at the table and begin eating.  They were having steak.  She looked down at the finger food meal he had prepared for her and then closed her eyes as the littleness just kept washing over her emotions.  It felt so wonderful to not be in control and it felt so wonderful to be accepted for loving the life of a BabyGirl. 

She dipped her fingers in the macaroni and cheese, scooping up a handful of noodles and stuffing them into her mouth until it was stuffed full.  She looked up at Emmy who smiled at her puffy-cheeked cuteness.

Her senses were detaching her from the reality around her and her short attention span became shorter yet as she tried to listen to their conversation but could only focus long enough to hear certain words before her mind wandered away.

But what she heard were the words: “Princess”, “Crib”, “Diapers”, “Pacifier” and “BabyGirl”.  She knew they were talking about her and it made her feel good every time one of those words entered her ears.  She would smile and eat another piece of broccoli as they kept talking about her.

She began kicking her legs, inadvertently, and would remain unaware of doing it until her Daddy told her to stop. 

What another amazing moment!  It seemed that every little thing she did was working her further inside herself.  If it wasn’t submissiveness to her Daddy’s gentle dominance, it was a mere tingle from the tone in his voice.  And before she started licking the bowls clean she began to stare down between her legs, wondering if this Bellisimo Diaper would ever leak for how much she was wetting herself.

Seeing she was done eating, her Daddy got up and gathered her bowls, kissing her on the forehead and telling her how proud he was of her.  She sat still, warmed from his compliment, but inside she was bouncing up and down because she knew what he was getting for her … dessert.

She waited patiently, welling up with joy from being her Daddy’s equal, while at the same time, feeling dependent on him for balance in herself.  She was so happy to be his BabyGirl.  And she loved him more dearly than she knew how to convey.

She only ever got dessert after a meal when she ate everything he put in front of her.  This time, dessert turned out to be … chocolate cake!  No sooner did he place the piece of cake on her tray than she picked it up and stuffed the whole thing in her mouth.  Chocolate wasn’t just a craving during those big girl times of the month.  It was an obsession that dwelled within her every waking moment.

The piece of cake lasted no time at all and when she finished it, she had chocolate icing covering the front of her face, up into her nose, all over her hands and she was beyond happy for it – even smiling with chocolaty teeth as Emmy took a picture of her with her cell phone.

She took a few seconds to try to clean herself up with her tongue before succumbing to the washcloth that Emmy took to her.   Her Daddy had seemed to disappear from the kitchen suddenly and she kept looking behind her to see where she went, only to have her head redirected back front for the cleaning she needed.

And when clean, Emmy removed her bib, reinserting the pacifier into her lips before her Daddy suddenly re-appeared, removed the tray from the high chair and took her up into his arms.  He carried her back to the hallway with Emmy following close behind. 

 Where were taking her now?

Her question was quickly answered as their journey lead into the bathroom where she saw a bathtub, filled with bubbles.  It was bath time!  Her Daddy cradled her in his arms as Emmy unfastened her diaper and removed it from her waist. 

Into the tub he lowered her, wrapping her in a blanket of warm water.  Oh, what a Heavenly sensation!  And mixed with the love all around her, the littleness she was feeling and the sensations of gentleness she was being handled with, she became absorbed in the fantasy she now knew only as reality.

Emmy kept her attention with bath toys as her Daddy took a wash cloth to her body, but perhaps the greatest moment of it all was how the two of them washed her hair.  One supported her neck.  The other lathered her locks and then one glorious pitcher of water after another gently rinsed the shampoo out.

And during the bath, Emmy kept talking to her like a little girl and her Daddy kept telling her how proud he was of her.  Their praise, attention and tenderness to her heart, made the BabyGirl feel so very little and so very loved.

The BabyGirl gazed up at both of them, lovingly, unable to put to words how happy she was.  So, instead she just kept nursing her pacifier and soaking in more than just the water.

Her Daddy lifted her out of the tub and swaddled her in a bath towel, carrying her out to the sofa in the living room.  Emmy took a seat on the edge of the sofa and her Daddy placed the BabyGirl on Emmy’s lap.

Emmy took a hair brush to the BabyGirl’s hair and made straight its length before it began to dry too much.  And as she got her hair brushed, she watched her Daddy walking back and forth from the bedroom to the kitchen, back to the bedroom, and then the kitchen again.  It seemed as though he was lost.

He finally returned to the living room to stay after a few minutes of walking around and he brought with him her bedtime clothing and her night time bottle.  Her thoughts had softened and her mind had slowed down.  She had regressed quite a bit.  It was a wonderful state to be in and one which she hoped she would never have to leave.

Her Daddy placed her on the rug in front of the fireplace.  The warmth from the fire felt soothing on her skin as he unswaddled her from the towel.  She lay there, as naked as the day she was born.  It seemed fitting since she felt so little.

She remained quiet as he took out her diaper and unfolded it, lifted her legs and bottom into the air and slid it into position underneath her.  Then the scent of powder filled the air, along with the gentle glide of his fingertips as he created an even layer.  He lowered her bottom into the diaper and she happily whimpered at its softness.

Emmy watched from behind her Daddy’s shoulder.  She had a maternal glow about her and her smile was very inviting of affection.  She loved Emmy so much.  And everything around her, everything inside her, everything she thought and felt and dreamed – all seemed to line up together to make for a depth of happiness she was becoming accustomed to.  Perhaps the most wonderful thing about it was that each time the BabyGirl felt that happiness, it went a little deeper into her heart and her soul.  So, each day felt as if it were the first, all over again.

She felt her diaper being fastened into place and then was slipped into the football jersey her Daddy wore in college.  She knew this jersey as her Saturday Night Nightie, a name she gave it.  Tomorrow was Sunday and her Daddy watched football.  So she wanted to show her own football spirit.

Up into his arms she went and she soon found herself being cradled across his lap in his reclining chair.  He removed her pacifier with his pinky finger and placed the nighttime bottle to her lower lip.  She took the nipple in her mouth and began to swallow the warm milk.

She laid there and drank the bottle empty, never once breaking eye-contact with him and never once moving a muscle until he sat her up and against his chest, patting her back until the burps came out.

The milk had begun taking effect on her and her eyes grew heavy as he lowered her back into his arm, draping a blanket over her.  And as he touched the pacifier to her bottom lip, she spoke.

“Daddy?” she whispered, ever-so-delicately.

“Yes, BabyGirl?” he asked back, softly.

“Thank you,” she said before taking the pacifier in her mouth and nestling against his chest.

Emmy would leave a few hours later after Saturday Night Live.  The BabyGirl woke up momentarily to say goodbye.  Her Daddy would hold her there in his arms all night long.  Most Sunday mornings they would wake up together on that reclining chair.

And as the BabyGirl fell back asleep, her heart felt contented … with nowhere to go, but up.

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