The Difference Between A Big Girl and a little girl

Taken from:

Feeling Little In a Big World 2
Kindle – Nook – PDF Ebook – Smashwords – Kobo – Google

here is a story about what eyes can say and what hearts can feel when you listen.

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The Difference Between a Big Girl and a little girl – Part One

Bonnie slammed her car door shut and, with a high-skip to her steps, ran up onto her Daddy’s front porch, leaping up into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. Already clinging to his body, she gripped herself around him more tightly still as he took the keys from her hand and aimed them at her car, locking it and setting the alarm.

“Hello, Boo,” he whispered softly into her ear, placing his left forearm under her haunches and his right hand on her back as he slowly rocked her back-n-forth.

Oh my, the warmth of his body, how his voice resonated in his chest, his scent, his presence, his hands and even his breathing – all of it and all of him had already made her day so much better. That’s how she knew he meant the world to her. He was able to brighten up a day that was already bright to begin with.

She placed the side of her face on his left shoulder and sternum, taking her arms down from their squeezing wrap around his neck. Tucking them in front of her chest and curling her fingers into soft fists and she nestled against him. It had hardly taken but a few seconds within his arms before she started regressing in them.

Still rocking her, he turned to see his older neighbors on their front porch, rocking themselves on rocking chairs and smiling at the young lovebirds.

“Hello, Mr. Bannion,” he said to the old man with a smile. “Hello, Mrs. Bannion.”

“I guess she’s happy to see you,” the old man said with a friendly tone. “It looks like she’s cold.”

“You wanna say hi to my neighbors, Boo,” he whispered into her ear, turning himself around so that her face was pointing towards the old couple.

Mrs. Bannion waved to her and she untucked her right hand to give a little girl’s wave back.

“You two are adorable,” Mrs. Bannion said sweetly. “And you are a cutie pie, sweetie.”

Oh, how she loved attention, especially when it was pleasant and all around her – making her feel as though she couldn’t get away from it, even if she wanted to. It was when within such attention that she blushed the pinkest of all.

“I remember when Mrs. Bannion and I got married,” Mr. Bannion started, his wife rolling her eyes at him.

“Henry, the girl just got here,” Mrs. Bannion said to her husband. “Do you think she wants to hear your story or do you think she wants to go inside and spend time with him?”

“I think this story might touch them both. It’s about young love,” Mr. Bannion said. “The year was 1948 and I finally finished up my final tour with the 102^nd Infantry Division. We were stationed at the German border until the war stopped. Then they scooted us all over Europe for a couple of years.”

“Clyde, go inside now before he really gets started,” Mrs. Bannion said across the front porches.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Bannion,” he said with a smile, still rocking Boo back and forth.

Boo looked at the old man and politely paid attention to him, having nestled her right hand underneath her chin while beginning to nibble on the nail of the pointer finger.

“When they shipped us back home here, we arrived back at Andrews Air Force Base at about 11pm that night,” Mr. Bannion continued, folding his hands and rocking on his chair. “I got off that plane and headed straight to Gypsy Mary’s Bar.”

Then he paused, seemingly lost for thought.

“No, Henry,” Mrs. Bannion interjected. “It was Gypsy Rose’s Bar.”

“That’s right. Well, I had gone in there with a mission in mind, a personal and civilian mission this time,” Mr. Bannion said, pausing again and looking at his wife with confusion.

“Henry, I’m telling you the name of the bar was Gypsy Rose’s,” Mrs. Bannion insisted.

“Well, okay. Whatever the name of the bar was …,” Mr. Bannion continued as his wife rolled her eyes at him again. “My mission was to find a pretty girl to marry. And while the German girls were pretty, they didn’t have something I needed them to have before I could fall in love with them. Do you know what I needed them to have?”

Mrs. Bannion pointed to her eyes, giving Boo the answer. Boo pointed to her eyes in response to his question.

“That’s right, they needed pretty eyes,” Mr. Bannion said with a smile before looking at Clyde. “Did I tell her this story before?”

“I don’t think you have, Mr. Bannion,” Clyde answered with a smile as Mrs. Bannion gave him a wink.

“But not only did they need pretty eyes, they also needed to have a look in their eyes,” Mr. Bannion continued. “It’s the same look I see in your eyes.”

Boo lifted her head up, looking at Mr. Bannion with confusion as to what he was getting at. Then she looked at her Daddy before looking back to the storyteller neighbor.

“I walked into that bar and saw the prettiest girl I had seen since I went into Munich,” Mr. Bannion said. “No, that’s not true. This girl was the prettiest girl I had seen in my life … though the Munich girls were awful pretty, too.”

Clyde and Boo remained wrapped in each other’s arms, rocking back-n-forth to keep warm from the chill of the evening air. And Mrs. Bannion glared her husband down, trying not to spoil the storytelling.

“She was sitting on a bar stool with her head resting on her hands on the bar top,” Mr. Bannion said, beginning to well up with tears as he reminisced. “I think she had had a little too much to drink, almost like someone had slipped a mickey in her drink and then left her there.”

Mr. Bannion stopped talking for a moment to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. Then, he continued.

“So I walked up to that girl to see if she was okay. And though her head was spinning, she lifted her chin and looked up at me,” Mr. Bannion said, reaching over and taking his wife’s hand. “And in her eyes, I saw the ability to fall in love and the need to fall in love. And for the past 65 years, that girl has been trying to convince me that the name of that bar was Gypsy Rose’s.”

Boo smiled, welling up with her own tears at the sweetness of the story as she looked at Mrs. Bannion who was now blushing.

“Don’t ever lose that look in your eyes,” Mr. Bannion said to Boo. “It makes it so clear to us guys that you carry your love in your heart when we see it in your eyes when you look at us.”

Then the story suddenly stopped and the two couples shared the sentiment in thought.

“So are you two headed to the parade at the University tonight?” Mrs. Bannion asked, breaking the silence.

“Yes,” Clyde said, then looking at Boo. “Do we need to stop at the mall first?”

Boo shook her head no, pointing back to the car that she had picked up the coated he ordered for her but left it in the car.

“I’ll come back out for it,” Clyde said to her before addressing the Bannions. “We’re going to go inside and warm up for a bit. Nice speaking with you.”

They waved at Boo and she smiled giving them both a little girl’s wave bye-bye before her Daddy took her in the house. And no sooner did he shut the front door than he reached into his right pants pocket and took out her pacifier – the white one with the handle and the huge rubber nipple.

Boo opened her lips and stuck out the tip of her tongue as she took the nipple in her mouth, beginning to nurse it as an innocence glazed over her irises. It had hardly taken but a few seconds in his house before she started regressing into the calm setting. There was something magical about this place and something magical about him. She hardly cared that she couldn’t put it to words – just so long as she never had to say goodbye to it.

As he slowly carried her up the stairs to the second floor, her thoughts drifted back to the coat in her car, but more so to that little card the gypsy teller had given her. Karma … it seemed so perfect, yet for some reason, she worried.

“You were an absolute angel, Boo,” her Daddy said as he carried her up the stairs. “Mr. Bannion is really long winded sometimes. But he brought up another point that you may not have picked on up.”

Boo looked at her Daddy, nursing on her pacifier and tilting her head to the side in perplexity of what he meant.

“A Big Girl is proudly raised up on a pedestal for all to see – so they can admire her from afar but not get too close,” he said with a syrupy Daddy tone as he carried her into the front room. “But a little girl is kept in her Daddy’s arms and shown off to all at eye level – so they can see how wonderful she is up close.”

Boo blushed again as her Daddy set her down to her feet in front of the sofa. The allure of being in her Daddy’s house also spoke of the allure of how little she felt when out-n-about in the Big World. And it no longer required an evening such as this one to overwhelm her. It truly made no difference where she was anymore. As soon as she thought of her Daddy, her own thoughts coaxed her into those babyish feelings that had become as familiar to her as being called Boo.

“We need to get you dressed a little more warmly than this if we’re going to go out in the cold tonight,” her Daddy said, untucking and unbuttoning her blouse. “But you look very pretty in this outfit.”

Boo tingled, knowing her Daddy was about to make her naked. Oh my, just the thought of it had already conjured up that fluttering feeling in her belly. And being coaxed to lift her arms as he took the blouse off her frame, she nursed on her pacifier while giving him a gaze that hinted another kind of craving. He unfastened the strap of her bra, smiling back at her and winking that he knew exactly where her mind was at.

“But to dress you warmly we’re going to need to be a little creative,” her Daddy said, unzipping the back of her skirt and lowering it her ankles.

Book kicked her heals and the skirt across the room.

“Little girls don’t wear pants,” he said, reaching behind her and patting her bottom. “And little girls don’t wear panties, do they?”

She slowly shook her head no as she lowered her chin, a reaction to the arriving shyness inside. Oh, she felt full of so many sensations, so many desires, so many things unexplained. And when he knelt in front of her, she began to nibble nervously on the rubber nipple in her mouth.

Watching his hands reach up on either side of her waist and his fingers slipping behind the tiny waist band of her little pink panties, she shuddered a little. Oh, his touch was as magical as he was. And for some reason, the slower he moved, the more the sensations gripped her – first from within though as she anticipated and then from within touch as she cowered to his gentleness.

He lowered her panties, rolling them down slowly and looking up at her. She had bent her elbows and curled her fingers, placing her forearms on either side of her chest as the panties rolled down off her center. Her Daddy looked down to see the smoothness she had made that morning in the bathtub before she headed into work. Clyde smiled widely, silent reaction that gave her a stick of butter’s chance to survive the melt inside. The rolled panties dropped to her ankles and she bashfully stepped out of them as her Daddy stood up and embraced her, ever-so-gently patting her between her legs – another action that added to the rubbery nature of her legs.

“Little girls don’t wear such things at all, do they?” he whispered in question as she shook her head no, swooning in the moment.

She was completely naked and completely helpless of recapturing the will to pick up her clothes to put them back on to become a Big Girl again. Maybe she had freely given up that ability because she really didn’t want to be a Big Girl, not when being a little girl meant that she would always feel the way he made her feel.

“Daddy is going to go out to your car to get the coat and then Daddy is going to go pick out an outfit for you that will show the difference. And then we’ll get you dressed, okay?” he said and asked softly as he picked up her Big Girl clothing.

She nodded sheepishly, a naked BabyGirl nursing on her pacifier.

“I’ll be right back,” her Daddy said, walking towards the hallway with her Big Girl clothes in his hands. “Stay in this room, Boo.”

Oh, how her head spun with too many thoughts for her little mind to keep unjumbled. Beginning her submissive approach to time with her Daddy along with his mentioning of the word difference had culminated her remaining moments of clarity. She knew what he meant by the word difference and she also knew what show the difference. And it was this knowledge that melted her faster than anything else.

She got that babyish feeling once again, a new dosage of it arriving every few seconds as she thought about what he said. It was always about what he said, and more so, about the memory of what he had said in the past that regressed her little heart, her little mind and her behavior. The difference her Daddy spoke of reminded her of all the times he told her the difference between a Big Girl and a little girl … and of all the times he told her why she would always be a little girl.

She heard the front door opening downstairs and walked up to the front window, watching him getting into her car to get the coat as his voice filled her mind:

“A Big Girl is purposefully modest. A little girl is helplessly shy,” his voice said in her memories.

Boo had certainly become shy since having met him. And it wasn’t for a lack of confidence, but rather, for no longer needing to concern herself with certain things – knowing her Daddy would take care of her. The shyness came from simply waiting. But modesty was certainly gone from within her – a sign that her Daddy was right. She was far more suited to be a little girl than a Big Girl, not because she couldn’t take care of herself if she had to, but rather, because her heart didn’t want to take care steps anymore – at least not when able to freely skip alongside her Daddy.

She had done more than just removed all the hair from her neck down. She had also taken to a daily routine of rubbing lotion on herself until her skin was baby soft. And she did all of this to make the gentle touches of her Daddy’s hands feel even more gentle as she couldn’t get enough of that pampered feeling.

She heard him returning from the car, making quick steps up the staircase and going straight back to the bedroom to get the outfit she would wear that night – the one that he said would show the difference.

“A Big Girl swoons when overcome by an emotion. A little girl gushes when overcome by one,” she heard the memory of her Daddy’s voice say in her mind.

There were many differences that had shown her what it took to feel little in a Big World. And it wasn’t just about dress-up and skin treatment, but more so about the reasons why she wanted to every second with him to overwhelm her and the reasons why he wanted her to feel so little that she no longer needed to be a Big Girl.

It was a bond between them – one so dynamic in nature that it seemed it would never reach its greatest depth. And no matter how coaxed she would become and no matter how needed he would feel, they both would cherish each other equally.

Her Daddy reappeared at the doorway to the front room, her coat in his one hand and her outfit in his other. She still stood in front of that window, aimlessly staring out of it and seemingly lost in her own thoughts. But she felt his presence in the room as he sat down on the end of the sofa.

“Boo?” she heard him say as she returned to the present moment and turned to face him.

Her eyes were filled with exactly what Mr. Bannion said they should be filled with. He patted the sofa cushion alongside him.

“Come lay down,” he said sweetly, summoning her over to him and down onto the sofa as he reached for her diaper from the pile of clothing on the coffee table.

Lying there, looking up at the ceiling, she felt the difference he always spoke of and she would use it as a guide in following him, no matter where he led her. The difference between a Big Girl and a little girl was a feeling. And it would be that difference that would enable her to once again feel little in a Big World.

She heard the crinkling of her diaper in his hands as he unfolded it, closing her eyes to allow the tingle going across the surface of her skin to lessen. More than a bag of chips or a present being opened, that crinkly sound always did the same things to her senses. And with her shins-n-feet lying across his lap, she waited for his hand to bend her legs. Her heart was pounding heavily as her mind had already traveled into the Big World. And in an effort to distract her, her Daddy posed a question to her that would remain within her thoughts for the rest of that night.

“Boo, did you know that girls can’t touch their elbows to their belly buttons?” he asked, placing his left hand on the undersides of her feet and bending her knees.

She opened her eyes and scrunched up her forehead, trying to figure out why he would ask such a silly question. But as her bent legs were pressed up again her torso and her bottom was lifted in the air, she began to nurse on her pacifier in contemplation of what the answer might be. Was that true? Could girls really not touch their elbows to their belly buttons? And if so, why not?

But her concentration was broken when she felt her Daddy place her diaper flat to his thigh, then sliding it underneath her bottom as he held her legs up with one hand.

This was the ultimate position for feeling little. With her smoothness presented to him, her nakedness of full body and her helpless state of mind to do anything about it, she didn’t just feel little and crave his care, she needed it just as much as she wanted it. And her Daddy never denied this simple, innocent wish of her heart.

From where she lay, she could see that he had gotten one of the diapers he put on her when they went out-n-about. She called it an all day all night diaper, but he said they were 24/7s. But regardless of what they were called, they were so thick and put so much material between her legs that a little bit of the difference had already become evident to her as well as a reflection on something else he once said:

“A Big Girl walks with grace. But a little girl can only totter with a waddle,” he often said to her when she tried to take straight steps forward.

Her tailbone touched the inside of the back of the diaper, giving her a pleasant feel and a bit of happiness with herself that, though she had made herself smooth in area that she normally didn’t tend to, every second of that chore in the bath tub that morning would pay off. And as she basked in the pleasant feel of that smoothness, she was treated with a cool sensation on her bottom, followed by that tell-all sweet aroma as it permeated the air. Her Daddy’s hand caressed her bottom, making an even layer of the baby powder across both her cheeks. She closed her eyes and mumbled a whimper behind her pacifier. Oh, how wonderful a gentle hand could feel and oh, how sweet that powder felt. For whatever reason, when she put powder on herself at home, it didn’t fill her senses with the incredible soothing, calming result as when he touched her.

Parting her thighs at the command of his fingers, her bottom was lowered into the softness of that thick diaper, adding further pleasantness to a smoothness well done. And with a now-greater position of vulnerable exposure, she had no choice but to regress into the safety of innocence. And in doing so, began to submit to her own thoughts. Her eyes went glassy and her mind, at last, slowed down as he put a heavy layer of powder to her front and then between her legs – another certain sign of difference that her scent would be as sweet as possible all evening.

As he caressed his hands across her front, from hip to hip, she gasped and then whimpered again. But he kept a steady pace, not exciting her too much in any way. Had he done so, the innocence of the moment would have been lost and it was that purity of sensation that mattered the most. Boo was as sexual as the next girl, but she had the ability to be sinless of intentions – a virtue that most had long since forgotten.

That virtue would be tempted as her Daddy’s hand trailed down between her legs, caressing the powder over the smoothness she spent quite a bit of time perfecting. And through his touch, she tingled as every conceivable emotion raced through her mind, from urges to desires to fondness. Yet, she remained perfectly still, gazing up at her Daddy with more affection than what her little heart and little mind knew what to do with.

As he folded the front of that thick, crinkly diaper up and into place, gathering the elastic edging along to the tops of her inner thighs and pulling the waist tight, she got a sense of the difference again. He fastened the tapes snuggly at her hips and she immediately sat up, not even bothering to try to close her legs.

And there she sat, a little girl – wearing nothing but her thick diaper. She would’ve felt little no matter what world she was in. But being in her Daddy’s world, she was once again being coaxed into feeling as little as could be. Looking down at her waist, she placed her hands on the front of her diaper, pushing in on the thickness as a cheeky grin formed behind her pacifier.

Feeling little was good. It was very good. And though her mindset was guiding her in the direction of bouncing and bibs and bottles, she knew that feeling little was where her heart would be at that night. And the Big World awaited her. But with shiny object syndrome still in full effect, her eyes moved from looking at her hands as they cupped the front of her diaper to looking at her belly button as she thought back to her Daddy’s perplexing question about girl’s elbows.

As her Daddy stood up and picked up the long-sleeved t-shirt, she tried to disprove the possibility that girls couldn’t touch their elbows to their belly buttons. What kind of a stupid statement was that? Girls could do anything and Boo was going to prove it. But as she tried, she found that she could only get her elbows so close to her belly button. She just couldn’t get them both to touch and as her mouth dropped open with the realization that it must be true that girls couldn’t touch elbows to belly buttons, the pacifier fell from her lips into her Daddy’s waiting hand. She looked up at him, raising her hands to the ceiling as he had gathered the material of the long-sleeved t-shirt and was ready to dress her in it. She wanted nothing more than to ask him why girls couldn’t touch elbows to belly buttons, but no sooner did he slide the shirt over her arms and down her body, drawing her head up through its neck than the pacifier went back into her mouth.

Boo looked down at the front of her shirt, lifting up its bottom hem and looking at her belly button again – only to enter into another shiny object moment as her eyes and her hands went back to the thickness of diaper between her legs. If nothing else, she was as adorable as could be as she sat there and passed aimlessly between thoughts.

Her Daddy picked up the long white loose-knit sweater she had left at his house a few weeks ago and they began to process of putting that on her as well. And there she sat, with bowed legs, a half-dressed body and no pants. Yep, littleness was there to stay and she could do nothing but sit there and be the apple of her Daddy’s eye – an acceptance that drummed up another memory of his past comments:

“A Big Girl coaxes attention her way, with her wiles and her smiles. A little girl, however, doesn’t even try to receive attention, but still gets it, with her giggles and her wiggles,” her Daddy once said.

How true that was. And if time in his arms on the front porch hadn’t already shown it, the Big World would show that difference to her before she ever stepped off the porch when they left … if they were ever going to leave at this rate. She had no pants, no skirt and wasn’t sure how to be creative about this, as her Daddy had suggested earlier.

Her Daddy picked up a pair of white tights from the diminishing pile of clothing on the coffee table, gathering up the material of each leg as she smiled brightly behind her pacifier before lying back down on the sofa and lifting her feet up. He slid the tights onto both of her feet and she placed her soles flat on his chest as he drew the tights down her legs, bending her knees as he got closer to her waist.

Then he picked up those brown snow boots with the fluffy insides and slipped them onto her feet before helping her to stand up. Pulling the top of the tights up over her diaper and around her waist, he patted her diapered bottom with a swift thud – one that she hardly felt at all.

As he walked to the closet to get his coat and her diaper bag (discreetly packaged as a purse), Boo looked across the front room at the chair by the entryway into the hall. On that chair was the new coat she had picked up at the mall just before she drove over to his house. She could still hardly believe he bought it for her. And she remembered the night they looked at it online a few weeks ago. It was a long beige-colored coat with a plush inner lining and a soft outer one, complete with a fluffy hood that had little bear ears on it and draw strings.

Taking a step towards the coat, she looked down at her waist, now covered by the knit sweater. She tried to step forward again, but only did so after a side waddle. A tingle raced throughout her thoughts as she imagined how tonight’s trip into the Big World might just be a bit more intense than the last one.

Her Daddy slipped his coat on and then picked up her coat, helping her into it. And as she stood there, watching him quickly inventory the contents of the diaper bag, she felt the softness of the coat with her hands. She was such a creature of touch.

Taking her hand, they headed down the hallway and down the stair case, Boo crinkling and waddling up a storm, an unavoidable bit of action that had her blushing before they ever got out the front door. Her Daddy searched for his keys, wallet and cell phone.

And then off they went, Boo putting the pacifier in her coat pocket as they waved goodbye to the Bannions on their way out. She still crinkled and still waddled, but didn’t panic as the Bannions were older and probably didn’t notice anything … Right?

Her Daddy unlocked his car and opened the passenger’s door for her, buckling her in and lowering the visor as he knew she would want to check her appearance. But as he started the car and as they pulled away, Boo’s mind wasn’t on make-up touch-ups. Instead, it was about the difference.

“A Big Girl dolls herself up and feels good about it because she prepared herself for the attention she’ll receive. But a little girl is dolled up by her Daddy, pampered in every way, and she still receives the attention but remembers who made it possible … and that is why she blushes.”

Waddling out the front door had been a lot easier this time, but the little feelings were still intense, being both frightening and exciting at the same time. There was something to be said for being diapered in public with a mindset of littleness leading her thoughts, her emotions, each heartbeat. Plus, with no pants, shorts or skirt and just tights over her diaper, all she could was wonder if people would pick up on something about her. But she knew the ultimate littleness would hit her when that internal question of Can people see anything? left her thoughts. Setting between them on the front seat was that overstuffed purse, her diaper bag for the evening. Her Daddy never brought it for show and she’d find herself staring up at another ceiling or the roof of the car or even the stars above as he turned her senses to mush. Tonight, she wouldn’t just be crinkling, but she’d be changed, at some point or another and whether she needed it or not.

And all of these time-killer thoughts led to another difference her Daddy once said:

“A Big Girl gets flustered. A little girl gets tummyflies.”

And that was the most profound thought of all. A Big Girl would certainly be filled with angst if she were uncomfortable. And the reason would likely be that she would be trying to find a way to get back to being comfortable. But a little girl simply accepted that she was really uncomfortable. Instead, she was just a baby. And it was those tummy flies that reminded her that whatever was going to happen would happen – and her Daddy would be there to take care of her.

As they drove through the center of the campus, Boo recognized how familiar this particular area was to her memories. And when they pulled up to one particular red light, she was struck with a strong sense of déjà vu.

A few weeks ago, they were sitting at this very red light when a horrendous car accident took place in front of them. Her Daddy jumped out of the car and ran up to the smashed vehicles to lend a hand. Boo stayed in the car. This wasn’t really so bad, except that it happened on another night when she was out-n-about with him, feeling little in a Big World. And sitting in that car, she wore very little – along with a diaper that needed changing, a pending mess on the way and such a babyish mindset that she couldn’t think ahead to see what would happen next.

“A Big Girl is always thinking ahead. A little girl only thinks of the moment, helplessly lost within it,” her Daddy once said.

Looking over at the patio table in front of the restaurant that sat to the right of that red light, she reflected.

It was that very table where those three mean sorority girls were sitting before they came over and teased her for the way she was dressed. And all the while, her Daddy was still trying to help drivers out of smashed vehicles. To make matter worse, Boo remembered how she was nearing a bowel movement that would prove to be the most embarrassing experience of her life – especially when she gave up the rosebud-clinching fight, releasing her bowels and looking up to the sorority girls with a red face that begged sympathy.

She didn’t get any sympathy on that night obviously, but the statement that the main sorority witch made to her still stuck within her heart to this day, weeks later as it was. And sadly, that witch’s words had been tattooed on Boo’s little soul:

“Let me give you some advise. You always get what you deserve in life and that means that you must’ve done something wrong to find yourself stuck here in front of us. I don’t feel bad for you. But I hope you feel bad about yourself. You know, it’s difficult enough in life to be taken serious as a female and to be treated equally by men. Do you have any idea how far you could set us back by indulging in your demeaning fantasies?” Boo recalled hearing the witch say that night. “Just remember, every time you look in the mirror, you will never feel complete and you will never go anywhere in life where you’ll feel true happiness. You belong at home and you should never come out of it … ever. Just stand in that kitchen, make his food and serve him with your life. Wear your long nightshirts all day, eat pickles and keep making babies for him until your uterus falls out.”

As the light went green and her Daddy pulled away, Boo snapped out of her reflection, returning to the present and seeing that the main strip of campus was flooded with people who were there to see the Greek Week parade that night. There was just enough time to get something to eat before-hand and as her Daddy turned off the main strip to a side street, avoiding the traffic to get to the strip mall on campus, Boo shifted her hips, nibbling on her lower lip and rubbing the softness of the cuff of her new coat on her bottom lip – just as she had always done with her baby blanket. She remembered how that sorority witch began walking away, followed by her femme minions, but then turned back to add one more thought she would pay for saying.

“It’s called Karma. You get what you deserve, especially if you set yourself up for it. To be in public and to be wet would make me wanna kill myself,” Boo recalled that witch saying before she and the other sorority girls turned and walked away.

But they only took a few steps before karma appeared to prove the witch’s point. The end of the fire hose that had been attached to the fire truck came loose and shot off the water nozzle. Those three sorority witches became soaked, knocking them to the ground and making them wet in public as well.

Boo was smiling at the memory as they pulled into the strip mall parking lot, remembering the embarrassment she felt but also tingling at that memory. Karma was real, it seemed. And that sorority witch was proof of it.

Her Daddy parked the car and got out, walking around to her side and opening the door, helping her to stand up out of it. When she stood up, she saw the restaurant they would be going into: Kinosuke, a hibachi restaurant she had wanted to eat at for a while – yet another little thing he remembered that she said.

He reached into the car and picked up the diaper bag purse, putting it over her shoulder and then lifting the back of her long white loose knit sweater. She gasped softly and looked left and right to see if anyone was nearby, but before she had the chance to fuss or pout, she felt the rubber nipple of her pacifier and it entered her lips. Blushing to a pretty pink, she lowered her chin and stood there as he lightly heaved up on the back of her diaper to straighten it so it would bunch or stick out when they sat down in the restaurant.

And when he was done, fussing with her tights and diaper, he shut the passenger’s door and lowered the back of her sweater, patting her padded bottom, a gesture that made her turned to face him for a much-needed hug from Daddy. It was from him that her free will was taken and it was also from him that her tummy flies originated – which made him the center of everything she felt and everything she loved.

“A Big Girl loves very deeply and a little girl loves very deeply,” she recalled her Daddy once saying. “The difference is: a little girl loves with a purity that Big Girls sometimes lose. Not always, but often enough.”

Her Daddy took hold of her hand and she pressed up against his side as they began walking across the parking lot. Oh, how she waddled. And oh, how she crinkled. And oh, how little she felt. The Big World seemed larger than life, once again. She could feel the cool air of the evening, the sun now having set. And she could feel that thickness around her waist, touched with softness and a sweet scent. Her face blushed a pretty pink again, not for embarrassment this time, but for the remembrance of why she adored feeling little. She thought back to her Daddy having said that when he first looked in her eyes, he could see her purity and within her, the difference between a Big Girl and a little girl. And she believed him, so much so that she found no real lasting pleasure at all in anything that didn’t originated from tummy flies.

“You hungry, baby?” he asked her as they got to the entrance and he opened the door for her.

That word, that simple little name always sent shivers up her spine and a tingle throughout all the right places in her body. It would make her skin flushed with color. It would turn her knees to rubber, shrink her shoulders up, usher in shyness and regress the remaining traces of a Big Girl’s existence. And all he had to do was say it with that syrupy-rich Daddy Voice that always echoed in her heart.

“A Big Girl is called baby as a name of endearment. A little girl is called baby for the same reason,” she recalled her Daddy once saying. “But the difference is: A Big Girl smiles at the name and a little girl melts for it.”

“Yes, Daddy,” she said softly, lifting her chin and raising her eyes to him.

And in her irises, he could see what her heart wanted to say but couldn’t find the words … when feeling little in a Big World.

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