Category Archives: Of the Heart

The Key to a Soul

Eyes are the windows to our souls.

That’s how the saying goes, right?

Some eyes are the windows to entire universes and they are also the first things we envision when thinking of someone.

Whether they have a look of love and seduction
or a look of contentment,
or a look of a little “plotting and planning” to them.

You see, everybody has little rooms inside their souls with doors which they shut and lock. And they keep close guard on the key.

When they’ve been touched so deeply by another person or when they become so entranced or in love with someone, they take that key out and twirl it between their fingers.

At first, a girl will do this as she decides if he is the one who should be made aware of something no one else has ever known about her. Initially, it’s a question of trust, but also of something else.

And she will wonder if he is the one for sure, because once you tell someone something, they will always know after that. There are no resets or “take backs”. It’s a permanent decision, which makes it one of the most important heart-pounding moments of her life.

Will he be receptive to her dream?
Will he have the same love for a fantasy as she does?
Will he be careful with her secret, a secret which the rest of the world is oblivious to?

So much could go wrong, but so much could go right and she won’t know which is the case unless she takes the plunge.

Because she has all the love in her heart for everything that she clings to, she has the highest of hopes.

He might well be exactly who she needs , hopefully exactly who she wants as well.

The future could be very bright. And her dream could come true. But all of the sudden, her well-kept secret and dream is out of her hands. She’s placed it his and he now owns every bit of her.

Without much delay, she finds out what it’s like to have her senses and heart owned by someone else. She’s felt love before, but it was never this intense nor felt this good. He touches her more deeply than she can handle to start.

She regrets having revealed her secret to him … But only momentarily because at the same time she can’t help but feel his charm, his loving touch, his unyielding presence. It fits in so very well with where she wants to be, how she wants to feel.

And, oh, that look in his eyes …

His gaze serves as a reminder to her that every moment is the moment of truth.

The more he fulfills her dream, the more she falls for him.
And the more she falls for him, the more she needs him.
The more she needs him, the more she begins to feel like she can’t live without him.

And before long, that thought becomes the truth.

Now she looks at him and she hopes she can live up to be the BabyGirl that he wants her to be. Soon, he becomes her only thought and her only concern. Just his voice makes her flutter inside and tingle in all the right places.

She continues to discover new levels of who he is and how he makes her feel. There doesn’t seem to be anything he won’t do for her.

His smile and his touch make her “little” in an instant and in no time, she feels her very thoughts being led by his words, his suggestions and his gestures.

He makes her feel alive. He makes her ache in brand new ways. He makes her want to abandon everything else in life and just exist in his world. His charm is more than alluring and it works. She follows, blindly and with an open heart.

And before she knows it, she is completely consumed with his affect on her. She is helpless to resist and doesn’t even care to try.

It’s so perfect that it seems too perfect and she fears believing it fully for the greater fear that it will go away, a reality that would kill her inside.

Yet she remains in his world, under his control and in his care. It is the only place she wants to be and now it’s the only place she can survive. She is his heart’s possession, his BabyGirl forever and ever more, and the soul which keeps her heart grounded to stay within reality.

Was her future planned out by a craving she couldn’t control and didn’t want to?
And did she go through every day with that same full knowledge that it was fate which dictated her emotions?

She will go to bed thinking about it and dreaming about it, hugging a teddy bear and nursing a pacifier.

When the littleness in her heart and mind begins to show, the simplest of things mean the world to her.

And why?

Because somewhere in the midst of her jumbled emotions and infantile reasoning, she’s stopped acting … and started living it out, not wanting a reality absent of the emotions that come along with being treated as a BabyGirl.

Her heart could survive without feeling a lot of things, but the “little” within her will always be there and the more she tries to keep control of that BabyGirl, the more that BabyGirl comes out.

And soon she won’t be able to stop herself from being the BabyGirl she wants to be and the BabyGirl she was born to be.

He reached out and touched the very core of who she was. He took the time to give her a feeling she craved all her life. She followed him with a heart full of love and innocence.

And now, she has a gift a lot of girls never receive.

What’s the gift?

Acceptance

No, it’s not just love or humility or courage or purity or honesty or diligence or charity or fidelity. You see, the 7 virtues of life are all encompassed in Acceptance.

She has chosen to accept her place in this world. And it was her decision. She’s not upset by limitations nor does she find herself longing for what she doesn’t have. She simply accepts all that she does have and finds a happiness that is truly fulfilling.

And with this gift, she realizes the power she now possesses … She can do anything she wants.

And why?

Because she feels cherished.

And that is what he can see in her eyes …

A simple girl who seeks compassion, understanding, love and fantasy.

She is all ready the BabyGirl he wants her to be and with time, she’ll learn to believe that.

She places the key to her soul in his shirt pocket and hand-in-hand, they take a step forward together, the first of many to come “for a lifetime”.

Is it any wonder the dynamic runs deeper than any other kind of relationship?

The look and the right

For as much as I like to call myself a gentle daddy, the truth is I’m the type of Daddy who could be labeled as submissive. Not in the sense of roles, but in the sense of personality.

And for as much as writing about “The Daddy who disciplines and rules with an iron fist” is a character which can make for a great story and storyline, I am not that kind of Daddy.

Having taken 2011 to emotionally recover from a break-up which I believed was going to destroy me from within, I’ve kept a low profile on a lot of things while purging my emotions through story after story until the emotions, and more importantly, the memories were gone.

She wasn’t just any BabyGirl.  She was the one I loved, the one I craved and the one I based the character of Lily on.  For years, I wrote those stories one chapter at a time and posted those stories all over the internet, telling the world how wonderful she was.  When something as strong as that ends, when the dynamic of a Daddy and BabyGirl relationship ends, it can drop you to your knees. At least, that’s what it did to me.

The future, once prepared and planned out, now seemed empty. It would take me some time to discover that the future wasn’t really empty. It was simply waiting to be filled.

And though the loss of her sucked the essence of life out of me for quite a while, it helped me to realize that the “Be-All End-All” was still out there.

I received an email from someone recently, asking me what kind of BabyGirl I was looking for. I didn’t reply to this email and it was one of the few times in my life that I hadn’t responded to an email.

Because I don’t believe personal ads produce many results, I don’t post them anymore, but as I sit here writing the 7th book in The Pajama BabyGirl Series, a thought has come to mind and if you have found this posting and read this far down, I believe you will be one of the few people who will ever read and know this.

From my past relationship, I have learned that looking for anyone should never include “the kind of BabyGirl I am looking for”, but rather “the kind of BabyGirl I am right for”.

So without further explanation, here is who she is (color coded, for the sake of being silly while being serious):

She wants to be submissive. She doesn’t want to be forced to be submissive. I’m a gentle daddy and while the appeal of what I like to call “butt whoopin’s” can be evolved towards with time and growth together, I’ll never be a disciplining Daddy. So the kind of BabyGirl I am right for won’t be looking for a Daddy who punishes.

She can give as much as she takes.  And she realizes that when two people give, no one has to take.  They simply need to receive from the other.  I’m a Daddy who thinks of himself last and finds joy in seeing others taken care of.  I will push myself to the point of exhaustion and then I’ll collapse.

It is at that moment, that I must remind myself that I am not Superman and I can’t do it all and I need to learn when to stop.  But I’ll also need a BabyGirl who understands that I will need time to recharge myself.

She wants a balance of Big and little in her life.  I want to know about her and have a relationship with her that encompasses the whole of us, not just the kink of us.  I don’t fall in love with the diaper.  I fall in love with the girl inside it.  And there will be so much more to her than the waddle she makes when she needs her diaper changed.

She can handle being spoiled without allowing it to effect the relationship.  I will always be a giving individual, to the point where my giving is taken for granted and taken advantage of.  It’s within my nature to be as such. 

Here’s a truth of myself:  When someone takes what I say and what I do for them for granted, it becomes extremely difficult to maintain a devotion of the heart.  I’ve proven to myself that it can be done, having never lost my love for someone who took a lot of things for granted, but it doesn’t mean I’ve learned my lesson.  And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to convince myself that sometimes I really do need to say “no”.

Lastly, she is a girl who is willing to work on imperfections.  Neither of us will be perfect, as individuals or as a couple, but entering into a relationship is something I will do with the intent of finding the rest of life.  I’m looking for the next 30 years.  Not the next 30 days or the next30 months, but the rest of life.

If I get 9 things done right, I’d really like to delight in those accomplishments as oppose to hearing all about that 1 thing I didn’t get done right.  Rest assured, that 1 thing will get done.  But it’s at a moment like that when volumes can be spoken about an individual.  Is that 1 thing undone more important than the 9 things that were?

The BabyGirl I am right for will see it the same way as I do.

So that’s my take on the difference between someone I am looking for and someone I am right for.    The look and the right.

I thank you for taking the time to read this and for showing me, by having read this far that the Be-All End-All truly is still out there.

– Zorro Daddy