I make this posting at 3 am on January 1st, 2013. When I normally post something – be it a picture story, a story sample, a blogging of semi-deep thoughts, a book, an event or whatever – I usually put them up late-morning or early evening. I do this because of a survey I put out where I asked when people were online most frequently. (Please feel free to take that survey here.)
But this posting is neither late-morning nor early evening. It was one year ago, at this very moment … that I logged on to my Skype account and had my first chat with a beautiful New Year’s Silhouette. She was shy but open, engaging but reserved, renewing but familiar, simple but unaware of the brilliance she possessed.
Her username would eventually become Espy. And in short order, I would find new meaning in practically every passion I pursued.
Travel suddenly became exciting again. And despite the Tappan Zee trolls, my trusted GPS got me there, time and again. From the Larger-than Life Big City to Build a Bear to Hotel Happenings to Songs to Stories to Love and the knowledge that when two people give, no one takes – I discovered what a reciprocating emotion felt like. Not a day goes by that I neglect to remember I was a broken individual until Espy showed up as a silhouette and showed me that my heart still worked, that it could still beat strongly. I simply needed to go back, pick it up, dust it off and start using it again.
Now … I am everything I’m capable of being. I am not rich, but I give what I have. I am not brilliant, but I avoid being taken for granted. I am not accomplished, but I am driven. I am not perfect, but I’m free to be imperfect.
I remember what love felt like before I met her. And what I‘ve been renewed to know, all because of a BabyGirl with a little heart and healing hands, was that anything worth pursuing for a lifetime would take work. It was a blessing to know that she felt the same way and pursued it the same way. That’s reciprocating – the thought and the action.
I don’t view the past as a series of stepping stones. That would be disrespectful to my heart. The very term “stepping stones” would negate that I ever loved deeply and with reckless abandon. But in 2012, I learned that there is nothing reckless about love when someone cares enough to travel over stones together as opposed to stepping on them.
It will take me a lifetime to repay Espy for everything she has done for me. And I couldn’t be happier to be charged with repaying that debt. I am an extremely lucky individual. One year later, I haven’t forgotten that.
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